Chasing Tails

Who do we blame when things don't go as planned?  When life as we know it gets turned upside down and what we were once certain of is no longer stable - Life is at a standstill and we can no longer see which way to go.  We ask questions and wonder what we could have done differently, if there was any way to avoid (what we feel is) the end.  Whatever has ended.  Be it a life, love, job, health, friendship...you get the point. 

Some people blame themselves, some blame others, some blame God and some blame the devil.

You've heard the saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," and I'm sure if you ask anyone who's gone through a trying time, they will answer to said saying's truth.  It may have taken them time to feel the strength but they feel it, eventually.  Is this life one big test?  When we're children, this end of life comes as our dog chews up our favorite toy.  When we're teenagers, it comes when our parents take away the car.  When we're adults, it's when we lose the love of our lives (real or not).  For some, it's when they lose a child or their home or a loved one.

All throughout life, we deal with these trials that seem so life altering and we can't make sense of them.  It doesn't seem fair and we look for excuses or people to blame.  But what if this is how life is meant to be lived...from one "get back on the horse" to another.  Do we ever stop falling off the damn horse?  It's hard not to look at it this way, but eventually we all die...it's like a mean game of fetch...you know, when you pretend you're throwing the stick but you never actually do.  Eventually your dog realizes the stick isn't going anywhere.  What's the point?  Why are we even here?

I can't answer that.

But there's always that moment when that stick goes flying...your feet dig into the ground and the dirt flies out from under you...and in that moment, as you're in pursuit, you see the possibilities and it gives you excitement and hope that what's flying above your head at that moment will soon be in your grasp; and when it is, you'll close your eyes in satisfaction that you never gave up.

"Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
when you think everything's okay and everything's going right.
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face."

Every choice, every mistake, every success, every obstacle, every loss, every gain, every pain, every joy, every lesson, every single moment in life has lead me here.  To this place of solace, of rememberance, of fulfillment...the above experiences never cease, but I've learned to appreciate the tears just as much as I can appreciate the laughter and I can be thankful for the mistakes as much as I am for the success.  With life comes the ability to understand that we may never understand, that sometimes the ignorance is what we have to go through to get to the good part. 

I've learned some tough lessons in life.  I've made some really big mistakes.  And I will make more and learn more, but I think that's what makes us human.  Broken hearts, hurtful words, dissappointment, angry thoughts, lustful moments, spiteful actions, regret - these make us appreciate the contrary so much more, as sick as it sounds...having the worst of something causes us to cherish the best of it even more when we have it.

Balance............human............life.

It won't always make sense.  It won't always be fun.  It can't always go right.  It shouldn't always be easy.  It doesn't always give us what we want. 

But sometimes.......it will.

And those are the moments we live to see.