There are tons of recreational activities available for me at the moment, yet I sit here pondering what thought I want to write about. The predominant thought I have lately is quite time consuming -- how my life got here, to this point of, well, insomnia. A point of slight contentment and enjoyment, with mild regret and bitterness, and a hint of searching for what's next. Considering my involvement in church in the past, I never would have dreamed I wouldn't have one, much less despise the thought of going to one. Had I met today Hayli 6 years ago, I wouldn't like her at all...and vice versa. The two are completely different and it is almost shocking to think that they are realistically the same person. I'm sure many agree. Where there was once optimism there is now pessimism, where there was once religion there is now disbelief (not in God, but in the the rituals of the religion), where there once was satisfaction there's displancency.
When I remember that girl, I think of her ignorance, naiveté, and disregard for anything outside of her comfort. She was good but did she do anyone any good? She didn't feed the hungry, love the unloving, research her beliefs...but she was the CORE of her youth group, sang and played in the youth band, decorated the youth room...notice anything? All she cared about was church. She didn't care about school, or family, or anything outside of those 4 walls. Is that normal?
Today Hayli is knowledgeable, and experienced -- and those things can be a huge downfall. Reason being, the saying, "Ignorance is bliss, " is very true.
Years later and I've seen a church split because of manipulation and politics, an amazing little boy die with cancer, my grandfather die with an inconceivable disease, and countless other lessons...and I never stop thinking. I have insomnia of the mind. I hate because of life, it keeps going, and people never change, almost like they've tuned out God. They can't see that the people they want to "restore" are the people they broke in the first place. Who would I be if I had never seen those things? I wonder if I would have ever "woken up" from the dream of clouds and unicorns? That world that I lived in was so disposable, and yet we call it
Jeremiah 6:13-15 (Message) "Everyone's after the dishonest dollar, little people and big people alike. Prophets and priests and everyone in between twist words and doctor truth. My people are broken - shattered! - and they put on band-aids, saying, 'It's not so bad. You'll be just fine.' But things are not 'just fine'!
This picture of church, of daisies and holy water, I'm sorry -- get off your stage, come out from under your hot spotlights, and see the truth. Hell's hand basket's are getting pretty full, but not with the people you think...to remind you, here are the 7 things God hates. 1) Eyes that are arrogant. 2) A tongue that lies. 3) Hands that murder the innocent. 4) A heart that hatches evil plots. 5)Feet that race down a wicked track. 6) A mouth that lies under oath. 7) A troublemaker in the family. (Message)
When I remember that girl, I think of her ignorance, naiveté, and disregard for anything outside of her comfort. She was good but did she do anyone any good? She didn't feed the hungry, love the unloving, research her beliefs...but she was the CORE of her youth group, sang and played in the youth band, decorated the youth room...notice anything? All she cared about was church. She didn't care about school, or family, or anything outside of those 4 walls. Is that normal?
Today Hayli is knowledgeable, and experienced -- and those things can be a huge downfall. Reason being, the saying, "Ignorance is bliss, " is very true.
Years later and I've seen a church split because of manipulation and politics, an amazing little boy die with cancer, my grandfather die with an inconceivable disease, and countless other lessons...and I never stop thinking. I have insomnia of the mind. I hate because of life, it keeps going, and people never change, almost like they've tuned out God. They can't see that the people they want to "restore" are the people they broke in the first place. Who would I be if I had never seen those things? I wonder if I would have ever "woken up" from the dream of clouds and unicorns? That world that I lived in was so disposable, and yet we call it
"building on the rock."
Jeremiah 6:13-15 (Message) "Everyone's after the dishonest dollar, little people and big people alike. Prophets and priests and everyone in between twist words and doctor truth. My people are broken - shattered! - and they put on band-aids, saying, 'It's not so bad. You'll be just fine.' But things are not 'just fine'!
This picture of church, of daisies and holy water, I'm sorry -- get off your stage, come out from under your hot spotlights, and see the truth. Hell's hand basket's are getting pretty full, but not with the people you think...to remind you, here are the 7 things God hates. 1) Eyes that are arrogant. 2) A tongue that lies. 3) Hands that murder the innocent. 4) A heart that hatches evil plots. 5)Feet that race down a wicked track. 6) A mouth that lies under oath. 7) A troublemaker in the family. (Message)
Call me bitter and cynical, but haven't we been going about this whole Christianity thing the wrong way for a long time now?? "But he's already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, and don't take yourself too seriously - take God seriously." Micah 6:8 (Message)
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